Dream Girl
“I can’t
believe it- we’re so perfect together.”
“You say
this every time we meet!”
“What’re
you talking about, isn’t this the first time?”
“It’s
always the same! I’m beginning to
think this is just a game you’re playing.
How’d you think we’re so familiar with each other? Do you really believe
this is our first meeting?”
“What? I don’t remember meeting you before,
but it’s clear that we have a special connection. I’m so comfortable talking with you.”
Once this
discussion started, John Withers was in a different realm of
consciousness. There was no past
in his thoughts or any future, just the present- and as he tried to wrap his
mind around what the girl was saying, he realized he was lost, confused.
“Where am
I right now?”
“You’re where
you always are when we meet- in a dream.”
She said this as casually as a leaf falls from a tree on a late fall
afternoon. All the while staring warmly
into his eyes.
“A
dream?”
“Of
course, this is how it always starts my love.” The girl said, as her tongue slid across her top lip and she
puckered and squinted her eyes.
She was trying to bring him in.
It was working.
“This
can’t be a dream. It doesn’t feel
like one.”
“It feels
real because this is where you want to be. Do you still believe we’ve never met before?”
“All I
know is that I’m happy just looking at and being with you- here- now. But if this is only a dream- what does
it mean?”
“It means
what you want it to mean, what you need it to mean. Things will unfold the way they’re supposed to. You’re the owner of this dream, but you
own the dream as much as the dream owns you.”
As she
said this, her delicate hand surveyed the room in a sweeping gesture. John’s eyes followed and, for the first
time, he felt that he might actually be dreaming. Any concept of history or time was hazy. The only thing he knew for sure was the
girl he saw in front of him, the humble room they were in and his racing thoughts. The girl was really something and he
studied everything about her. He
wondered who this exquisite creature was that had somehow commandeered his
heart, thoughts, and soul.
“I am
your salvation, your escape. You
know this, it’s all within you-” She said as if she were hearing his thoughts
just as loud as he was thinking them.
Just looking at her eyes, he knew this angel was telling the truth.
“How long
have you known me?” John asked.
“As long
as you have known yourself.”
He turned
and walked toward the window, opened the drapes and looked out. He didn’t recognize the city that
sprawled out before him. It looked
old, bombed out…was it Beirut? Havana? He was totally lost in place, but
completely found in spirit. That’s
when it hit him, “Your name is Sonya, isn’t it? You’re the…You’re the woman I’ve been searching for, aren’t
you?”
“Who else
could I be my love? Yes, my name
is Sonya. Search not just your immediate
thoughts, but also your inner core and you’ll realize you know all the answers
you’re seeking- they are within you. You’ve written them yourself for many
years now.”
John
stared at Sonya- he did know her; she was as familiar as his own face when he
saw it in the mirror. “What are we
supposed to do?” He asked.
“The days
go by and you are far away, but I’m always here and you always come and find me
when you need to escape from your other, troubled life, as you’re doing tonight,
and as you’ve always done. It
doesn’t have to be this way. I
keep telling you this. We’ve even tried
a few times, but we never succeed and the dream ends. As always, we can try again or to just enjoy this brief time
that we have before you go back.
There is no right or wrong decision to be made here.”
“Go back? What’re you talking about? Why would I leave when you’re all that
I want?”
“Because
you always say that and always go back.
Don’t worry; I’ll still be here for you. I’m happy to wait for the day when you’ll be ready.”
“Ready? Ready for what?”
“When
you’re ready to take the next step so that we can truly be together.”
“I love
you. I don’t know how this is, but
I know it. My love for you is the
only thing I know for sure right now.
I may not recognize what I see when I look out the window, but I know
that I’m you and you’re me, and this is how it is meant to be.” John said this while pacing around the
room.
“That is true. I’ve been waiting a long time for you
to realize the future, but there is no hurry. Time doesn’t exist here. I just wish you to remember me always and not only when you
are here. Soon it will be time for
me to go.”
“Go? Where?”
“Come. I will lead you. You may follow or stay, the choice is yours
and yours alone.” She glided
toward the door, her white gown flowing smoothly over the floor, the way a shallow
stream envelops a rocky bottom. She
gently took hold of the door handle and turned it. The door broke its seal and opened onto a small balcony with
a railing. Beyond the railing was a
thick, hanging fog too dense to see anything beyond it. It started falling toward the doorway.
John looked
out the window, and still saw the skyline at sunset without any fog or even a
cloud in the sky. What is this doorway and where is it leading?
He looked back at Sonya. She still hadn’t crossed the threshold
and was looking right at him with her warm eyes. Something ached inside of him and it intensified as she neared
the doorway. He grabbed her arm
just as she started to go out on the balcony.
“This is
where we say goodbye. This dream
is coming to an end.” She said as put
her arms over his shoulders, her left hand caressing the back of his neck,
scratching his hairline while kissing him softly. John closed his eyes and was lost for the duration of her
touch. Minutes, hours, days went
by. When he opened his eyes, she
was pulling back, letting him go and moving through the door and into the fog,
which now completely covered the balcony and was spilling into the room.
“Goodbye
my love, our time is up, for now.
Until next time, you will not leave my thoughts.” She said and touched his cheek caringly
with the back of her hand while moving away. She was almost immediately lost to the fog.
John waited,
trying to discern an outline of her figure, but there was nothing to see- only the
conquering whiteness. He wanted to
follow her, but something held him back. He couldn’t place it, just a vague command that comes from a
place we don’t know, like where morals come from. John turned back to the room, it was cold and barren now; the
fog was building up and reaching the bottom of the windowpanes. He told himself to follow her. As he stepped through, he also was immediately being
engulfed by the mist.
“Sonya?” He
yelled.
His arms were
outstretched hoping to find her, but there was nothing. Did she disappear back to the vagueness
of her origin? After a few steps,
he hit a something. He couldn’t
see anything other than the white.
The barrier came up to his waist. John leaned over, his hands searching. He was desperate now. He yelled her name again and leaned
further and his fingertips brushed against something smooth. It was soft and flowing. It
must be her robe, he thought. John
leaned out to get a hold of it, but only his fingertips could touch it. He leaned further.
*****
“Hello,
is this Mrs. Withers?”
“Ah, yes,
who’s this?”
“This is
Lieutenant Johnson from the Evanston police department. I got your hotel contact information
from a note that was posted on the refrigerator in your home. I’m awfully sorry to be calling you so
late-”
“Oh my
god, what happened!?!? Is everything
okay??”
“There’s
been a terrible accident. We’ve gone
through video footage from the security cameras and it appears that your
husband was sleepwalking and somehow got out on balcony and fell over the
railing. He seemed to be reaching
for something when he lost his balance.
I’m so sorry to have to tell you this, but your husband is dead.”
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