15 Years like Yesterday, Part II

Please note that this is the second, and final, installment of the story.  If you haven’t read Part I, please click the link below to start at the beginning.  Thanks!

https://libertinereflections.blogspot.com/2018/11/15-years-like-yesterday-part-i.html

15 Years like Yesterday, Part II

As the theater was closing and it was still fairly early, they decided to get a drink at nearby bar.  Lisa was hungry now and wanted to eat something.  They sat at the bar and ordered some chicken wings and beers.  Their talking never ceased, there was always something to say or an experience to remember and share.

“How much do I owe you for the ticket?”  She interrupted after a short while, realizing she hadn’t paid for anything yet.

“Actually, I wanted to talk to you about that.  I have a deal for you.”  Lisa twisted her head slightly waiting to hear it.  “How about I pay for the ticket and all the food and drinks for the night, and instead of you taking the train back to the city so late, you’ll pay for a taxi when you go home later?  I really don’t want you taking the metro back into the city at this hour and it’s cold out there as well.”  A taxi would cost around $35, which was basically the price of the concert ticket.  Lisa was happy to agree.

By the time the food arrived, they were both a little tipsy from all the alcohol.  Lisa started in on the wings with abandon.  Seriously with abandon- she was dripping sauce on the bar, the floor, her jeans.  She was making a total mess.  In a normal situation, or if Konstan hadn’t known her so well, he would have been turned off by this exceptionally sloppy display, but since it was her, he thoroughly enjoyed watching and laughing about it.  As the mess continued to grow, he ended up putting napkins all over her and one down the front of her shirt so that she would be protected from all future drips and mishaps.  There was lots of laughter. 

As things were unfolding and Konstan was cleaning up after her constant mess, a vision of a future that could have been flash across his mind.  He then said, “I know you probably don’t want to hear this, but if you ended up dating me way back when, I really think I would’ve been a very good influence on you.  I just know it and you would’ve made me very happy in return.”

Her soft eyes stared at him, this time with emotion, “You’re right.  I agree with that.”  And she could not have been more sincere at that moment.

After she finished devouring the wings, she looked around and started laughing again at the war zone she had created.  Blue cheese and wing sauce were everywhere and Konstan continued cleaning the bar in his OCD kind of way.  While he was doing this, Lisa looked at him, put her arms between her legs and leaned toward him with her eyes closed.  Konstan followed, grabbed her by the back of her neck and gave her a sensual kiss.  She opened slightly and her tongue entered Konstan’s mouth, which he wasn’t expecting.  He slowly pulled back, while giving her two follow-up kisses.  As he pulled back, he pulled her to him and gave her a firm hug while kissing the top of her head.  He noticed that her hair smelled a bit dirty, but with so much emotion going through his veins, it didn’t bother him at all.  In fact, he found it endearing. 

He grabbed his beer and stared at her feeling much empathy.  He could still be a good influence on her.  She seemed lost in life; he could feel it and from everything she told him, she appeared to be struggling- emotionally and financially.  And while he knew that they weren’t anything near a perfect match- he felt that they could be happy together and he would get a different form of contentment by taking care of her.  Emotions never die, they just remain idle in hidden spots of the heart he thought to himself while thinking these wild thoughts about his childhood love.  It was an absurd idea that these two could somehow have a connection after so much time apart on completely different trajectories.  His mind again filled with vague ideas of what could happen between them.

It was getting late now and the bar was closing soon.  Lisa was also getting tired, as she ate most of the wings and after all the drinks, her full stomach was taking her remaining energy.  They decided to call it a night.

“Ok, we have a couple options.”  Konstan started, “ We can call a cab from here and wait for it to come or, if you want to go right now, we can walk down to the train station, there are usually taxis waiting there and if not, my apartment is right there, so we can go to my place and call one.  The fresh air and walk will likely do us both some good.”

“Let’s try to find one at the train station.” 

They put on their jackets; Konstan paid the bill, tipped nicely to cover the mess, and they walked out.  It had gotten noticeably colder.  As they walked, Konstan put his arm around her and for the first time all evening, they didn’t talk and just enjoyed each other’s company in silence. 

The train station was deserted- there were no taxis or even any other people around.  It was well past 1am now on a cold December Chicago night.  However, as they left the station, a most unexpected taxi pulled around the corner.  Konstan hailed it.  Lisa got into the back seat and said her address to the driver.  Konstan made sure the driver knew how to get there and asked Lisa to text him when she got home so that he would know she was safe.  They said goodnight without a kiss. 

He went home, got ready for bed, and waited for her text.  After forty minutes, he started worrying that maybe she fell asleep in the cab or something, so he sent her the following:

It was great seeing you tonight--- I didn’t expect us to still be so compatible after so many years!  There’s still so much more to talk about and catch up on- If you have time, let’s go out for dinner before I head back to New York.  Also, I still cannot believe we found a cab driving by like that- especially up here in the burbs so late.  It was like Cinderella leaving- unexpected and abrupt, but fortunate-)

The message went unanswered.  After 15 minutes, he wrote her again:

Are you home yet?  Please let me know, I’m beginning to worry something may be wrong.

She replied almost immediately and they went back and forth:

I’m home.  That was a lot of fun.  I enjoyed everything.  Yes, let’s get together               soon;)

Phew, that’s good news.  Goodnight and sleep well old friend!

Thank you, goodnight;) L.

The next day, Konstan often thought about Lisa and their night out, but didn’t say anything to anyone about the evening except that he had a great time and that the concert was very good.  That night he was going into the city to meet a friend in her neighborhood, so he decided to send her a text:

Just wanted to say hello and thank you again for last night- I had a great time!  I’m heading into the city now to meet a friend for a drink in your neighborhood.  If you would like to join, please do, if not, no stress, but I do hope we’ll have the chance to see each other again before I head back east. 

Hi Konstan, yes, last night was so much fun!  Thank you for everything ! I’m so glad we met up.  Tonight, I’m gonna take a pass.  I’m about to walk my dog and then go to sleep.  I’m quite busy with work and year-end things for the next few days.  How about we shoot for Monday? 

 Sounds great- let’s pencil it in, talk soon and have a great New Year! 

You too!  Thanks again.  I’ll write you to confirm everything in a few days; I just need to make sure nothing comes up with work.  Talk soon, Happy New Year!  L.

When Monday arrived, he had not heard from her, but with the holiday and everything, he didn’t think anything about it.  He hadn’t written her, as he wanted to give her time to write him on her own, but as the afternoon started turning into early evening, he shot her a message just to check-in and see if they would meet. 

Hey!  Just wanted to touch base to see if we are still meeting up tonight, but it seems like we probably aren’t, as I never heard back from you.  No worries if that’s the case- I understand it’s a busy time.  I leave for NYC this weekend, so if you have some time before then, let me know-)  Hope all went well over the holidays-)

Lisa’s reply came two hours later:

Yeah, tonight didn’t happen.  Life has been super busy with some work stuff going on.  I also wasn’t so happy about how things went down when we hung out.  It took me a day or so to process it.  I really like you as a person and enjoy being around you, but you tried to kiss me several times and I felt like that was inappropriate.  I know I was drunk, so at the time I was a little confused, but I don’t feel comfortable with it.  I wish it wasn’t like that, but I want to feel safe and trust the person I’m with and if it is supposed to happen, it should be mutual and with respect.

Konstan was dumb-struck reading the message- he took a few minutes trying to figure out what she was talking about.  It was so out of place and unexpected.  He restrained his emotion (and disappointment) and decided to just cut and run:

Wow!  ---This is a real surprise.  It seemed to me that you initiated all the physical contact- especially when you leaned in like that with your arms between your legs at the bar, so your message is very confusing.  Honestly, I’m shocked, but, it’s totally fine- It brings back old memories-)  I’m sorry if I offended you, it was not my intention and I guess even a distant friendship is just not meant to be.  We probably have too much historical baggage that gets in the way.  Good luck with everything—I hope you find what you are looking for in life-

I’m sorry if I led you on.  That wasn’t my intention.  Good luck to you too.

The fact that you do not feel safe or respected by me is more than enough reason for us to say goodbye.  Frankly, life is too short for this unnecessary drama-

And with that, it was over.  The whole thing seemed preposterous.  Shocked by it all, Konstan couldn’t stop thinking over the events that transpired piece-by-piece for the rest of the week leading up to his flight back to NYC.  Even after so much analysis of their night out, he couldn’t connect the dots in any rational way that would lead to such a reaction. 

When his departure day arrived, he was depressed, but happy to be leaving Chicago.  He boarded his flight, found his seat.  Once the plane took off, he just stared out the window thinking. 

He thought how the memories we hold most sacred and dear only exist in our minds and trying to relive them beyond that will only hasten their destruction and unravel the fabric that we have built our understanding and consciousness upon.  People who have let you down in the past, will continue to let you down in the future and no matter what bond you may have shared--- there really is no going back.  It’s a cop-out to even try—life is about moving forward and living in the present-

 

As the plane reached cruising altitude, he closed his eyes and tried to forget about how disappointed he was with himself for trying to resurrect friendships and connections with people long since dead to him.  It was clear that this path would only retard his future growth.  He saw this as clearly he could see the soft fluffy clouds out the window, that is, if he chose to open his eyes and look again, but he didn’t have to, he managed to let it go, and he had moved on.

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15 Years Like Yesterday, Part I

15 Years Like Yesterday, Part I

As Konstan waited at the bar, he thought of their past.  Lisa was the first girl he ever fell for and even though it was unrequited and they had a bizarre history, 15 years had now past since they last saw each other.  They had recently reconnected through Facebook and had decided to meet during his trip back to Chicago for the holidays.  Now that they had aged into middle life, he was sure that no matter what happened or who she had become, it would be interesting to hear her story and learn how her life had gone.  He drank his beer and maintained a lookout for her.

He was just starting his third beer when she arrived, 20 minutes late.  They saw each other and both smiled naturally as she approached from the entrance.  They hugged hello and she sat down and ordered a glass of red wine.

“You look great.”  Konstan said, still smiling.  “I cannot believe it’s been so long; I really don’t even know where to begin.”

“You look the same!  Like seriously- I want to hear all about what you’ve been doing in Europe all this time and how it feels to be back home.”  She was also unable to remove her smile.

“You know, before we get into all that, the show will be starting soon, so I think we should probably order some food now since we only have a half hour before we have to go in.” 

“Oh, it’s ok, I already ate.  I may eat something later, but right now I think we should just have these drinks and then go in the concert hall to make sure we get a good seat.”

“Uh, ok.  I’ll get the bill so we are not rushed, but I got us VIP tickets, so our seats are assigned.  We just need to get there before the show starts.”  Konstan had not eaten since lunch because they had agreed to eat dinner together, but he immediately pushed any negative thoughts about this change of plans out of his mind.  He was full of energy now that he was sitting with her and he’d easily be able to get through the concert and eat later.  He ordered the bill and they jumped into discussion.  They spoke fast - going back and forth, back and forth.

“…I just reached my expiration date in Russia.  I’m not sure if you’re following it so closely, but the country has dramatically changed over the last few years and doing business was getting harder and harder with all the corruption.  Once the war started in Ukraine, I hit my breaking point... 20 years abroad is a long time and I’m telling you, I’m really happy to finally be back stateside.  I wish I’d come back sooner actually.  New York’s something new and exciting.  I’m seeing my country through new eyes and while it’s similar to what I remember, I’m different, so it’s also different.  It’s hard to explain.”  He was trying to keep it light, as he figured that she would not have been following Eastern European news so closely.  “Anyway, tell me about yourself, what’re you doing these days?  I saw on your Facebook profile that you’re doing yoga and are a psychic/spiritual healer, what’s that anyway?”

“Oh, yes, I opened my own yoga studio a while ago, but it was so much work and stress that I ended up closing it after I got divorced.  I just couldn’t deal with all the pressure.”

“Oh yeah, I read that in a link you recently posted to an interview you gave to a local magazine.  What happened?  Who did you marry anyway?”

“I married Scott and it was mess.  We weren’t good for each other and after a couple years the whole relationship just fell apart.  I was in a bad place and he couldn’t deal with it.  That’s why I studied to by a psychic and healer.  I really wasn’t in good shape even when you knew me way back when.  I had to figure out who I am, what I wanted and why I wasn’t making myself happy.  So anyway.”  She was absolutely giddy with excitement and she put her hands together and raised them up and down like a child as she spoke.  She hadn’t changed a bit, Konstan thought to himself. 

Lisa continued,  “After studying in this spiritual healing course I decided I wanted to teach it and help others, so I took a teaching course and now I’m doing private yoga lessons at a studio my friend runs and psychic readings to help people better organize their lives.”

“I’m not sure what a psychic reading is, but if helps organize and inspire me, I may want one.  We can all use a little spiritual guidance I think.”

She blushed and finished her wine.  “I think you already have a good understanding who you are- just look at you and what you’ve done with your life!  I don’t think I could tell you anything you don’t already know.”

“Are you dating anyone?”  Konstan asked.

“Yes, kind of.  Not really.  I don’t know.”

“What does that mean??” 

“Well, I’m seeing someone, but I am not sure if we’re really dating or not.”

“Cool, who is he?  How long have you been seeing each other?”

“We’ve been together for ten months now, but he’s young.  Only 24.”  She again blushed a bit.  Konstan thought she was getting uncomfortable and didn’t say anything.  She continued, “I met him walking my dog and we kept bumping into each other and then, after a while, we started seeing each other.”

“Sounds like a nice romance.  And don’t worry about the age, dating younger people is kind of natural I think.  We can teach and show them things that we learned from life and they can teach us to remember how to be carefree and happy- it’s a good trade.  Though I’m not sure if it works on a longer-term horizon.”  He was being supportive, there was no jealousy- he had resolved long ago that they would not be a good couple in any way.  Despite their once close friendship when they were young, they were opposites in terms of how they saw and lived life.  He was happy that Lisa had someone in her life, even though she clearly had some commitment issues.  He then asked one of his usual default questions, “What does he do for a living?” 

“Don’t be judgmental!” she interjected and pouted her freckled face.

“What?  Trust me, I just quit my job and am trying to be a writer at the age of 42, I’m the farthest thing from judgmental you can get, but if you don’t want to talk about it, you don’t have to, it’s all good.  Relax.”

“Ok, well, he’s a bouncer at a bar in my neighborhood.  That’s why I kept bumping into him.  He was standing outside every night when I’d walk my dog.  We started talking and one day he asked if I was seeing anyone and when I said no, we started meeting after he got off work.”  She was working herself up; Konstan could see she was uncomfortable talking about this.

“Sounds nice.  We should go get our seats; the concert is starting soon.”  He interrupted in an effort to settle things down.  She immediately stood up.  They made their way to the concert hall.  A booty call with a 24 year old bouncer, is that how these things start these days?!,  Konstan thought to himself as he followed her.  He wasn’t being judgmental, just a bit surprised at the strange and random happenings that allow for love and relationships to begin in this world.  As they walked, he looked at her.  She was still in very good shape, the yoga was clearly keeping her physically healthy. 

They found their seats.  Two other people, a couple in their early-60s, were sitting at the table with them.  They all said hello and introduced themselves and then the older woman, who was there with her husband, said to Lisa- “Are you two married?”

“Oh no, we went to high school together.  I haven’t seen him in over 15 years!”  She replied with another big smile and they all had a laugh about how fantastical the whole situation was.

They ordered more drinks and the conversation moved away from her personal life.  They talked about travelling, which Lisa said she really wanted to start doing more of. 

“See, that’s good that you have a young boyfriend who can take time off of work to travel with you.”  They kept talking in a fast flurry until the show started. 

Lisa said that she had met the singer at the spiritual healing class she initially took and was excited to hear her sing.  Once the show started, they both sat back to enjoy the music.  It was a folksy soulful type of music where the singer’s voice is the dominant instrument.  They were both transfixed on the singer for the first few songs.  After a little while, Lisa leaned in to say something, so Konstan also leaned in a bit so that they wouldn’t disturb the people around them.

“Isn’t she great- I just love her- do you like it?”  She asked in a whisper, but while she was asking this, she put her hand on Konstan’s upper thigh, an intimate gesture that he was taken somewhat aback with, as he wasn’t thinking about anything romantic happening with her at all.

“Yes, she is really great.”  He replied quietly, pretending not to notice her touch.  And then he pulled back, took a swig of his beer and focused on the music again.  A new song was starting, but after only a few seconds, his gaze shifted to Lisa again- She looked exactly the same as he remembered her and he studied her face, its freckles, the ridge of her nose, her pouty, but full lips, the same black curly hair.  It brought back a lot of good memories from his childhood.  It’s uncanny how if you share certain stages of your life with someone, those people, no matter who they turn into will always be special he thought as he pondered her image.  He leaned in again, which she noticed and leaned forward.  Again her hand came to rest on his upper and inner thigh as he whispered to her.

“You know, 15 years is just like yesterday.  It feels like not a single day has passed since we last saw each other.  I’m so comfortable with you, it’s really amazing.”

“Yes, I know, right?  I feel the same way-” She radiated happiness and looked directly into his eyes when she spoke.

The concert was very good, and the energy between them remained high throughout.  They kept coming together to say short things to each other between the songs, as the excitement of seeing each other after so many years was overpowering for both of them.  At one point just after a particularly strong song, they both leaned in again and Lisa said, “ I just love that song.  She is so amazing.”  And then, looking into Konstan’s eyes, she raised her head a bit and leaned in further toward him and closed her eyes while pouting her lips.  It was clearly an invitation and he kissed her soft lips lightly a few times before he even knew what he was doing.  He then pulled back to hear the next song, adrenalin surging through his body. 

Konstan had no idea what was happening, but it was exciting and, unexpectedly, it all felt kind of right to him.  He started having strange and crazy thoughts, were these seemingly very different people who lived completely opposite lives possibly soul mates?  Could something really be between them after so many years or was this just loneliness and nostalgia making them act and feel this way?  He decided to just breathe, take it easy and go with the flow without any major moves, declarations or discussions.  His little voice continued reminding him how the relationship ended in flames 15 years ago because he had told her he had feelings for her deeper than friendship and that freaked her out so much they stopped communicating.  This kept him in check and he resolved it best to keep the evening platonic even as they continued whispering ideas, memories and thoughts to each other.

After the show, they waited around to meet the singer and Lisa met some other friends who were there.  One of her girlfriends said after talking with them for a while, “How long have you two been seeing each other?” to Konstan’s ironic delight and Lisa’s surprise.

“Oh no, he is just an old high school friend- I haven’t seen him in 15 years before tonight.”  She quickly corrected.

“Oh really?  You both have such a positive and comfortable energy between you.  I would have sworn you were a couple- you look so good together.”

As the theater was closing and it was still fairly early, they decided to get a drink a nearby bar…

It's about to get interesting....Please click the link below to find the second and final installment of the story:

https://libertinereflections.blogspot.com/2018/11/15-years-like-yesterday-part-ii.html

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